"Confidence is like a muscle–– the more you use it, the stronger it gets." // Unknown
This blog post was prompted by negative anonymous remarks I received on tumblr. I have had my tumblr account for almost a year now, and in that time I have received an abundant amount of messages, both positive and negative. The negative messages have never impacted me, and I have always been extremely grateful for the uplifting positive messages I've received over the past year.
Although I do not let anonymous negativity get to me, I have seen other people be affected by it in a detrimental manner, and it hurts me to see this happen. Everyone should love themselves! Everyone should feel comfortable with who they are. No one should be influenced by a message coming from someone who is too coward to say it non-anonymously... but words can still sting. They can be hurtful, and it is never fun to see someone target your insecurities, whether it be online or in real life.
I personally believe that confidence is an extremely important attribute to have. It is important to be confident in yourself because if you are comfortable with who you are, you'll be happier in general. Confidence is attractive. Confidence is good. Yet, it's almost intrinsic for humans to focus on their negative qualities rather than celebrate their good qualities. If you listen to other people throughout the day, you will probably hear more complaints than you will hear them say positive things about themselves. It shouldn't be this way though. It should be the other way around!
How to be More Confident
It might seem easier to attack yourself rather then to build yourself up, but it really isn't. It also does absolutely no good to tear yourself down, either. Instead of looking in the mirror and saying, "Wow, my teeth are crooked," say "Wow, my smile is so unique" instead! Find the little insecurities within you and spin them to be positive. Do you hate your freckles? Don't. Freckles are beautiful. Are you uncomfortable with your height? Don't be. You cannot change how tall you are, so accept it. Own it. Try to develop a more positive mindset. Every time you start to think negatively about yourself, take time to reflect on the things that you love about yourself instead. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are you, not them.
No one else's opinion is relevant. As long as you are comfortable with who you are, that's all that matters. If someone chooses to say something negative to you about your body/personality, respond with: "I appreciate your concern, but I am happy with my ________." If you show them that you are happy with who you are, it'll make them realize that their opinion has not negatively impacted you. Half of the time, people say mean things because they are envious of what someone else has, or they are unhappy with what they have. Consider the source of the negative remark, and as Taylor Swift says, shake it off!
Spreading positive thoughts is just as important as thinking them too! Try to compliment others more. If you see someone looking sad, tell them that you like their outfit. Something as simple as receiving a small compliment can brighten someone's day tremendously. Let your positivity radiate onto others. Encourage others to do the things they love. By encouraging friends/family to pursue their goals, you are showing that you have confidence in them. Smile more often. Stop complaining about yourself.
Before commenting on someone else's body/personality/style/life, consider how that comment would make you feel if you were on the receiving end. If it would make you feel bad about yourself, DO NOT say it. If it would make you feel good about yourself, go ahead and share!